I grew up with the best mama in the world. I mean seriously. She took me out like once a month to outback steakhouse to get appetizers. I also grew up with the best papa in the world who took me out regularly on Saturday mornings for breakfast at iHop and then to half priced books for as long as I wanted. And my nanny would spend time with me. And my aunt just wanted to be around me. My step dad came into my life 12 years ago and I remember on my 13th birthday he took me on a daddy-daughter fishing trip for my birthday.
I guess what I’m getting at is that there were a lot of people who really loved me and who really wanted me, not because I was capable yet of doing anything really but they wanted Lilly.
I’ve also talked about my biological dad on here before. To make a 21 year long story really short: he’s been in and out.
I grew up around really incredible people, but I would be lying if I said I had no hurt from what mine and my dad’s relationship has looked like. I think even if you grow up with the best of both parents, there’s still going to be some hurt there.
But I was thinking about Father God. God is really cool, right? He has all these different facets- not parts. Parts imply (in my brain) broken things that compose a whole. Facets are sides of the same thing, like a diamond. So God has a lot of facets. He's redeemer, and he’s a husband, and he’s a lover, and he’s a protector, and he’s a father.
Except He is showing me that he's actually more than just a Father. He is Daddy.
So what’s the difference?
I don’t know, maybe I’m just crazy but I feel like Father and Daddy come with two different emotions. But when I was praying and talking to Noah last night, and really as I was thinking all day, this is what I thought.
When I think Father, I think of the male authority who comes home late and doesn’t know or care about what I had for lunch. I feel safe with this Father, but I feel disconnected. I know he loves me, but I feel like I can’t touch that space of tender, vulnerable love. I know he is authority, and this is important.
But when I think Daddy, I think of holding hands walking in the park, and I think of playing together and laughing together. I think of the tender Daddy who brushes my hair before bed, the one who tells me how much he loves me. I think of this man who lets me stand on a stool in front of him while he closely watches me make eggs in the morning. I think of this sweet man who lays next to me while I go to sleep to make sure I fall asleep okay. And I think of this man who plays music in the house and has me stand on his feet to dance in the living room. And we just dance, and dance and dance.
And lately God has been showing me that he is Father, but He’s also my Daddy.
Maybe I’m crazy, but I want to speak to the girl who has been really hurting.
Dance with Daddy God.
Take his hand, stand on top of his feet and dance, sweet girl.
Let your head rest on him and rest, let go. Let go of the hurt and hang on tight to Daddy God.
Friend, our Daddy sees you and you need to know that he cares genuinely about how your heart is doing and his desire is for you to be close to him. So take the invitation, because you are invited. You didn’t do anything to earn a place at this table or in God’s living room, he gave you his hand and invited you. He wants you here.
He delights in you.
You are loved friend, and my prayer for you today and in this season is that you’ll respond to God’s invitation and dance with him in the holy living room.
Have a great Wednesday, gal pal.
With oodles and noodles of love,
wife // local kids pastor // mama to my heaven boy + my rainbow girl