Well hey, a little bit has changed since I last posted a blog. Like my name. I’m Mrs. Lilly Scibana, wife to Noah. We got married a little over a month ago and it’s been awesome. I love my husband more than any other person on the planet. Like for real. He is the coolest person ever. He’s so kind, he loves me and we laugh basically all the time. Anywho- let's get to it party people.
I posted something on the gram yesterday, but I thought it actually deserved a whole blog post.
If you have been following my blog even a little, you know about my relationship with my biological dad and the word “father”. I feel lots of emotions with the word Father. I have a great papa, great “bonus dads” (my friends dads who have loved me really well), and a pretty spectacular mother.
Someone I don’t really talk a lot about is the man who walked me down the aisle at my wedding and gave me away to my husband.
So let me tell you about one of the very few times I cried on my wedding day…
I decided to do a first look with my step dad after I was all done up right before the ceremony.
He was in a corner of the room and I went and tapped his shoulder. He told me I looked beautiful (and here I go crying again…), and we said “I love you”. And we cried. Like ugly cries. And we hugged a good long while.
Now let me tell you about the 13 years leading up to this point.
I was seven when I met my step dad, 10 when he became my step dad. I very much so had the mentality of “you’re not my real dad” (ouch). I was so angry, not really at him, just at the world. I felt like I didn’t need another dad. I felt angry that someone would try to impose that I needed anything (talk about a moody teen lol, parents hang in there.)
When I was 18, I was about to leave for college, I had just a year prior accepted Jesus and started living for Him, and I called my step dad “dad” for the first time and I haven’t called him anything else since. He’s just been “dad” for the last 4 years.
He hasn’t done everything right, but what parent does? He's a hero as far as I am concerned, and let me tell you why.
He came into my life after I already had 7 years of life, hurt and all that jazz. By the time I was 10 and he was married to my mom, I already had my mind made up about some stuff. I had already walked through hurt. There was already some bitterness there. He loved me anyways. He took on the financial burden of a small child and provided for me until I got married a month ago. He took on the emotional burden of loving another child. He watched me get hurt and carefully responded to try and shape me into a decent person. He had hard conversations with me. He told me no. He took me on fishing trips. He helped me pay for my wedding. He took on knowing that I didn’t, until recently, think of him as my own dad.
You get the picture.
And I’m not biologically related to him. Not even a little bit. Not even a tiny bit are we related. He never even legally adopted me.
But he bore the weight of fatherhood for me. So I could have a stable dad. So I could have a stable family. So I could feel protected.
I have learned a lot about how God the Father loves us and adopts us through my dad. I could do nothing for him, but he took me in and loved me. I could do nothing for HIM and he loved me and took me in.
So I have a strange relationship with the word “father”- but I felt a special healing on my wedding day as my father gave me from his covering to be under the covering of my husband.
So I’m healing.
To all the super heroes out there (aka step parents).
Hang in there. Sometimes it’s hard to process as a kid someone stepping into a parent role- ESPECIALLY if they have a rough relationship with either one of their biological parents. But take it from a step kid- we are thankful. It may take us 13 years to realize how thankful we are (sorry dad), but we are thankful. We see the sacrifice you make. We know when we hurt you and are too prideful to say “I’m sorry”. We know you’ve cried over us. And we are so thankful. We will tell you someday, be patient with me.
To all my “bonus dad’s”, thank you. You’ve loved me well and it shows in my heart towards God.
I love my dad. And I wouldn’t trade our relationship for anything. Hes the best.
Now enjoy some photos of us from the wedding. I hope they make you cry like they made me cry lol.
Peace out squirrel scouts,
Ps- all photo creds go to Dani Quiroz who was my AMAZING photographer!!!
wife // local kids pastor // mama to my heaven boy + my rainbow girl