Happy and Gentle Bereaved Mother's Day

It feels weird to say “Happy Bereaved Mother’s Day”, but here we are. 

Bereaved Mothers day happens the Sunday before Mother’s Day, and this day is to recognize all the mamas who have lost children, foster, adoptive and biological. This recognizes all the 1 in 4’s, even if you have other children. This recognizes all the 1 in 4’s, even if you are pregnant. This recognizes all the 1 in 4’s who are awaiting a miracle. This recognizes all the 1 in 4’s who never shared their stories. This recognizes the foster mama who painfully watches the children she loves leave her home. This recognizes all the 1 in 8’s who are struggling through infertility. This recognizes all the mamas of infant loss. All the mamas with grown kids in heaven. This day recognizes YOU, hurting mama. 

Last mother’s day I never imagined I would be part of this club of parents whose children have died. I never imagined the pain that comes with the death of your child. Your body carried them, and a piece of you died with them. When you lose children, every holiday, every birthday, every celebration feels a little empty. Like you’re missing someone. 

Because you are. 

You are missing someone. 

Mother’s day can be extra hard for bereaved mamas. It feels a little extra hard for me. Although I celebrate the mamas in my life, I mourn the life I’ll never have with my son. 

Today I remember my son who made his home in heaven before he made it in our home. I remember the joys of carrying him and the pain of his death. I take time to breathe and grieve today as I mourn the loss of my baby and the life we will never have with him here. Today I remind myself that I am just as much a mom now as I was while I still carried him. Today I remind myself that motherhood begins far before the first bottle and the first cries, that motherhood is much more than tending to a physical child’s needs. That in some seasons, motherhood is gripping the diaper they never wore, it’s looking at the months old pregnancy tests, looking back at photos of your children and loving each child even though they are no longer here. Sometimes you have seasons of motherhood with no little ones in the home. And that makes you no less of a mother. 

Today I remember you and your kids with you and I remind you that just because your home feels empty does not mean you are not a mom anymore. The title of mother is earned and it cannot be taken away. I celebrate you. I grieve with you. I cry with you and I hope with you. 

So, happy and gentle Bereaved Mother’s Day, Brave mama.
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